fun video! The Latest and Greatest Blueberry Band by SHEL
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=126773561668&set=vb.47899422780&type=3&
video_source=pages_video_set
www.the-wind-project.com
Friday, August 16, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Traumatic bonding
"So she was mystified as to why she still had these feelings for
someone who had hurt her and her loved ones so badly. I told her that
the feelings are normal. In the language of addictions we call them
cravings; they do not go away simply because you understand. Many get
to the point of understanding but get pulled back in by the emotional
reactivity. The key is to dismantle the reactivity and the other trauma
solutions that support traumatic bonding. The relapse prevention plan
you just completed focuses specifically on the relationship life
itself. Now we need to focus on how reactivity, arousal, blocking,
splitting, deprivation, shame and repetition are used in that
relationship. Only then will you have sufficient distance to recognize
that the feelings are not about reality. They are like the Sirens of
the ancient Greeks who seduced unwary sailors off course, where they
crashed on the rocks hidden under the sea....
"Survivors of terror tend to react in extremes. Their "alarm system" is set to hypersensitive. The result is inner turmoil, personal chaos and relationship dysfunction.... By finding healthy ways to manage the internal reactions, you will be less vulnerable to those dysfunctional coping strategies.
"Start by listing ways that you underreact and ways you overreact in the relationships you are concerned about. Give a description of what the reaction is, what the feeling is and the behavior that results from it. Describe a specific event in which that happened. Then describe an appropriate response strategy and what probably would have happened had you done that." - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. in The Betrayal Bond
Working through traumas is important to your mental state and emotions. We can react in unusual ways in our lives when we have trauma bonded. Traumas need to be worked through and new ways of living identified.
www.The-Wind-Project.com
"Survivors of terror tend to react in extremes. Their "alarm system" is set to hypersensitive. The result is inner turmoil, personal chaos and relationship dysfunction.... By finding healthy ways to manage the internal reactions, you will be less vulnerable to those dysfunctional coping strategies.
"Start by listing ways that you underreact and ways you overreact in the relationships you are concerned about. Give a description of what the reaction is, what the feeling is and the behavior that results from it. Describe a specific event in which that happened. Then describe an appropriate response strategy and what probably would have happened had you done that." - Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D. in The Betrayal Bond
Working through traumas is important to your mental state and emotions. We can react in unusual ways in our lives when we have trauma bonded. Traumas need to be worked through and new ways of living identified.
www.The-Wind-Project.com
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Praising
“Kind words can be powerful motivators–but only if you praise the
right things. Praising someone’s ability to work hard is more effective
than gushing about how brilliant she is. Research shows that kids who
are praised for their intelligence do not try as hard on future tasks.
Praising smarts breeds the belief that things should come naturally–and
when they don’t, kids thing they are no longer bright. Or they choose
unchallenging paths so as not to be exposed as ‘frauds.’
“‘Being praised for effort or other aspects of performance directly under your control leads to resilience, while being praised for being smart or for other innate abilities can lead to feelings of helplessness or self-doubt when a set back occurs,’ says psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University. The ideal is to help someone think positively but realistically about achieving goals while praising their hard work. When praised for persistence, those who think the path ahead will be difficult invest more effort.
“How praise is delivered counts as much as what gets praised. Praise should be specific and sincere–and given generously especially at the office. Workers asked to learn a task performed better at the end of the first day, report Japanese researchers. To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being given money.” – Mary Loftus in March/April 2013 Psychology Today
It does matter how we give praise. We need to tell those that do well what they do well in not just a general, blanket statement.
http://www.The-Wind-Project.com
“‘Being praised for effort or other aspects of performance directly under your control leads to resilience, while being praised for being smart or for other innate abilities can lead to feelings of helplessness or self-doubt when a set back occurs,’ says psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson, associate director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University. The ideal is to help someone think positively but realistically about achieving goals while praising their hard work. When praised for persistence, those who think the path ahead will be difficult invest more effort.
“How praise is delivered counts as much as what gets praised. Praise should be specific and sincere–and given generously especially at the office. Workers asked to learn a task performed better at the end of the first day, report Japanese researchers. To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being given money.” – Mary Loftus in March/April 2013 Psychology Today
It does matter how we give praise. We need to tell those that do well what they do well in not just a general, blanket statement.
http://www.The-Wind-Project.com
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Hold truth to be more important
"We must always hold truth, as we can best determine it, to be more
important, more vital to our self-interest than our comfort.
Conversely, we most always consider our personal discomfort relatively
unimportant and indeed, even welcome it in the service for truth.
Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all
costs." - M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
Hold truth to be more important. When we are not truthful our mental health is in jeopardy.
www.The-wind-project.com
Hold truth to be more important. When we are not truthful our mental health is in jeopardy.
www.The-wind-project.com
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Validating statements
"'It's hard when your friend has a sleepover with someone else. I'm guessing you feel left out.'
"'Of course you're scared about going to a new school. Anyone would be nervous.'
"'I used to feel jealous of my sister too.'
"'I know that you really love that outfit. In my opinion the colors don't go together well.'
"'Your friends are upset because you're not passing the ball to them when they have open shots. I know because the coach told me they have complained about that.'
"'When you scream like that, I have trouble listening to you and don't want to do what you are asking. I know you are upset, and if you could tell me in a lower voice, I could listen and possibly help.'" - Karyn D. Hall, PhD and Melissa H. Cook, LPC in The Power of Validation
Validating statements are caring. Caring for the emotions of other.
www.The-Wind-Project.com
"'Of course you're scared about going to a new school. Anyone would be nervous.'
"'I used to feel jealous of my sister too.'
"'I know that you really love that outfit. In my opinion the colors don't go together well.'
"'Your friends are upset because you're not passing the ball to them when they have open shots. I know because the coach told me they have complained about that.'
"'When you scream like that, I have trouble listening to you and don't want to do what you are asking. I know you are upset, and if you could tell me in a lower voice, I could listen and possibly help.'" - Karyn D. Hall, PhD and Melissa H. Cook, LPC in The Power of Validation
Validating statements are caring. Caring for the emotions of other.
www.The-Wind-Project.com
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