Love addicts and avoidants form relationships that inevitably lead to
unhealthy patterns of dependency, distance, chaos, and often abuse.
Familiarity is the central engine of the love addiction. Each is
attracted to the other specifically because of the familiar traits that
the other exhibits. These are patterns learned in childhood and
continue into adulthood despite the pain that is caused. When the two
addictive lovers come together --- a common and predictable relational
process is ignited. Reference http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_addiction
This
cycle of love addiction encompasses a push-pull dance full of emotional
highs and lows where the one is on the chase (love addiction) while the
avoidant is on the run. They both engage in "counterfeit emotional
involvement” which consists of melodrama and negative intensity. This
dance creates the illusion of true love, intimacy, and connection.
The
negative consequences of love addiction can vary. Depending on the
severity of ones love addiction, negative consequences can range from
violence (to others or self) to increased feelings of shame, depression,
impaired emotional growth, chronic emptiness, loneliness, and loss of
intimacy and enjoyment in life. In its extreme form, love addiction
causes more murders and suicides than any other addiction.
The
consequences of love addiction are most-clearly revealed when the love
addict experiences withdrawal, which occurs when a relationship has
ended or is perceived as falling apart. When a break-up occurs, the love
addict longs for the attachment and apparent loving feelings of the
lost relationship, as much as a heroin user craves the drug that is no
longer available. This longing is a form of emotional withdrawal that
leads to debilitating pain, obsession, and destructive behaviors
atypical of that person’s usual behavior patterns.
www.the-wind-project.com
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